Anticipation

They say that every pregnancy is different. That it's unrealistic to compare woman to woman, or even among babies coming from the same mama.

Since lil' miss Kate will be our 4th daughter, I've noticed that this pregnancy has had many similarities to the others. I've had many of the same cravings: lemonade, pickles, and greasy food (in the beginning, probably because it was the best at keeping my nausea away for the longest bout of time). My belly button has popped out like a turkey timer on all four pregnancies. And I've carried all my babies high, and that probably contributes to the super-crazy amounts of heartburn I've experienced with each one.

Some things that have been a little different with Kate are the cravings I had for meat and salty things early on in pregnancy, the fact that I didn't throw up in my first trimester, the stretch marks that showed up on my belly for the first time, the fact that I'm able to sleep a lot better than with the other three (when the other three don't wake me up in the middle of the night) and...

I'm officially over my due date. 

Yup, who would have thought that the 4th baby would be the latest? Ella came right on time, Allie threw me into labor in the middle of a church service a week before my due date, and Caroline was induced a week early because she was due two days after Christmas, and we honestly didn't want to take the chance of missing out on Christmas if she came a little early...not with two little girls full of excitement waiting for us.

But Kate is enjoying her stay in Hotel Mama, and has requested a late check-out of sorts.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I began praying about her delivery process and felt led to research the possibility of doing labor and delivery without drugs. At first, I thought that I was half-looney. After all, the other three all came with the help of epidurals, and truth be told I had wonderful experiences with all of them. I labored until I was about 7 or 8 and then got the epidural, took a nap, woke up, pushed a few times, and enjoyed meeting my new bundle of joy! What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing, I say.

Perhaps the full explanation of how I came to agree with going natural and unmedicated in this L & D will require its own post in the near future (or after I actually deliver, and we can see my pre- and post- L & D thoughts). But suffice it to say that for now, I am believing that my body is ready and equipped to do what it was made to do, and I am actually excited about delivering Kate without the help of an epidural. Yes, pain and all. And so living out this decision necessitates that I wait for labor to start on its own.

But back to that due date. And her being late. Maybe it's a 4th baby thing...she's just going to be laid back and go with the flow, right? Let's hope so. Maybe she just is a little scared of the three energy-filled sisters she hears on the outside. I don't know why, but for whatever reason she is content to just hang out, even though we all think she should be done cooking.

Two weeks ago, we really thought she was on her way. I had been having contractions 5-6 minutes apart from dinner time on Saturday night, all through the night until Sunday morning. Brandon headed off to church (on my orders, to get things set up, and because his parents were spending the night anyway, so I felt confident I'd be okay), and by 10am, I was still contracting, but it wasn't painful at all, so instead of sitting at home counting contractions and watching my kids mess up my nesting-clean house, I decided we needed to go on to church. Remember, Allie began her arrival during a church service, so maybe Kate would kick it into high gear during praise and worship or something.

Well, Brandon was super excited, and from the stage, he actually announced that I was having contractions and that if we got up and left, it was because we were on our way to the hospital. I wanted to crawl under the seat, as everyone went into hyper-baby mode. By the time service was over, my contractions were 3.5mins apart, but still not hurting, and I knew it wasn't yet time to head to the hospital. So, despite the frantic people telling me to get to the hospital right away before 'that baby comes in this movie theater', we decided to get some lunch and get back to the house to put the girls down for their rest and go for a walk while the grandparents were still around. After the walk, we laid down to rest ourselves...

And the contractions stopped. Completely. Nada. Nothing. Womp, wooommmmmmpppppp.

Since then, we've been thinking every day..."today could be the day". That following week was so very unproductive, as we both kind of cleared our schedules thinking we were so close. Friends and grandparents all were on high alert, ready to help at a moment's notice.

By the next Sunday, I dreaded going back to church with my huge belly, but thankfully our folks were encouraging and supportive in their comments. Another week passed, and by then everyone (especially me) was wondering when baby Kate was going to make her appearance. Friends admitted to Facebook stalking me, searching for clues that I was in labor or pictures of a healthy baby. Phone calls, texts, and almost every conversation revolved around due dates, signs of labor, advice on getting labor started, and the like.

Back at church on Sunday, I was worshiping the Lord, and I heard Him say this to me,

"Nicole, you and everyone else are anticipating the arrival of this new baby and that is wonderful. My question to you is, 'what would your life look like if you anticipated beholding My presence like you're anticipating beholding this child?'"

Boom.

How would our lives be changed if we waited, ever so hopeful, senses heightened, eyes peeled for any sign of God's presence in our day? What would our conversations, our prayers, our attitudes look like? How would our priorities and daily routines change when we clear our schedules to wait for Him? What kind of ministry would be done through us if we knew that He would be returning for us soon, and recognizing that there will be millions who don't yet know Him.

So that's what I've been chomping on for the last day because I'm convinced that eventually this baby will be born, but seeking the Lord in all His glory will be a lifelong endeavor, and I want to do it with great anticipation and excitement.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deut 4:29

What about you?

The 5 Love Languages of Pregnancy

I remember reading Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages for the first time. It was so eye opening. It was then that I was able to see in words how most people give and receive love. I recognized that one of my main love languages is Quality Time. I love spending real time with people, getting past the surfacy conversations and getting to know and be known by someone. I also saw how I was giving love the way that I most desired to receive it, but had to adjust and find out what love language others were 'speaking' in order to tell them that I love them.

For instance, Brandon's main love languages are Words of Encouragement and Physical Touch. When I speak life into him, tell him that he's doing an awesome job, speak positively of him in front of others...or when I give him lots of hugs, kisses, back scratches, and er....well, this IS a post about pregnancy, so you get where I'm going with this....he feels loved. Me just buying him a gift simply won't cut it.

And that's no good.

Since I've been a Stay At Home Mom, I think that besides needing Quality Time (read: no screaming kids around while we try to have a conversation), my other love language that is high up there is Acts of Service. When Brandon helps with the nighttime routine (which is pretty often) or gets a wild hair to clean the entire kitchen or wash and clean out my car, I get all warm and gooey inside. He's much more likely to have that Physical Touch need met, too, so we both win. Having three small kids and being engrossed in everyday acts of service for others really allows me to appreciate it when others take small things off my plate.

But now that we are in the last few weeks of our fourth full pregnancy, I have come to find out that there are other, unpublished love languages that pertain to my life right now. My sister-in-law, who is always a wealth of wisdom and just so happens to be preggo too, and I were discussing some of these love languages of pregnancy.

Sleep:  For the preggo, sleep may arguably be the most popular love language. That first trimester is simply exhausting. Personally, I remember never being so tired in all my life. When I was pregnant with Ella, I would come home from work, sit on the couch, and wake up hours later. No dinner had been made, no cleaning or planning for the next day...I would simply shuffle from the couch to the bed and sleep until my alarm would rudely awaken me the next morning. And no, brushing my teeth was not a priority during those times. It only got worse with Allie's pregnancy because although I wasn't working anymore, I had 1 year old to run after, and that was a WHOLE lot more tiring than sitting at a desk. With Caroline, we were in the middle of moving to a new city, leaving our friends, family and connections, and...on the side...no big deal, WE PLANTED A CHURCH. (Note: don't do this. Just don't.) Now, with the fourth child...well, I'm still so tired I can't even express myself adequately. You get the point. It gets worse with more chil'ren. And it doesn't just end. The first trimester and the last trimester are both super sleepy times for Mama. So if you have a preggo and want to tell her you love her, give her a break to get some shut eye. Men, put the kids down to bed yourself and tell her to get in bed and not worry about a thing. Friends and family: offer to watch the kids or help out so she can get some much needed sleep. She'll feel super duper loved.

Food: This can go two ways. One, the preggo is going to have some serious CRAVINGS. This happens mostly through the first and second trimester, but in the third she will definitely know what she wants to eat most of the time. There's just something about having a craving satisfied that makes a preggo happy, happy, happy. And two, there are going to be some serious AVERSIONS. If your preggo can't stand the smell of fish during pregnancy, don't go to Harbor Inn at lunch and come home smelling like an aquarium. Don't even mention Red Lobster. Don't request shrimp scampi for dinner. Whatever her aversion is, note it and STAY AWAY. You'll be happier, I promise, when she feels loved in this way. And don't get upset if her aversions include your favorite foods or change suddenly. Just go with it, because like other pregnancy-related downers, this too shall pass.

Sanity: This is super important for a preggo because pregnancy is a time when our minds are racing. If this is a first pregnancy, there are no less than a gazillion things going through Lil' Mama's mind. It's a time when anxiety levels can be high, so if you know a preggo, give her space to collect her thoughts. Perhaps a Starbucks gift card (if she doesn't have an aversion to the smell of coffee, that is) and a journal so she can write down her thoughts, lists, To Do's, etc... Also, don't pile more on her plate than normal. This is not the time to announce to her that you are quitting your job to pursue your hobby as a full-time means of income, or that you want to take an trip out of the country that just so happens to land during her 36th week. This does nothing but make for more craziness going on in her mind. Finally, go with the flow when it comes to her forgetting things. Because she will. Often. Even the most organized, on-top-of-it preggos get pregnancy brain. We can't remember our own middle names sometimes, much less where we put that receipt that you need for reimbursement. Instead of scowling, just say, "it's okay, babe" and figure something else out.

Massage: Massage can often be tied in with Sanity (i.e. a massage definitely helps keep a preggo sane). My husband has always been good about hooking me up with an hour long prenatal massage sometime in my second or third trimester. During my last pregnancy, my dad actually sent me to the spa for a whole day of pampering...massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. Marvelous. Having the opportunity to put your big 'ole belly in a hole and lay face down in a dark, warm, relaxing room while someone massages your sore back is pure bliss. Especially when you are growing another person in your womb and haven't been able to sleep in your favorite position in over 6 months. If you can't afford a prenatal massage for the preggo you love, feel free to pull out the lotion or massage oil and offer to hook a sister up with a massage yourself, focusing on her lower back, neck, fingers, legs, and feet. Please note, massage should be reserved for the second and third trimester only. Also, be aware and stay away from prenatal pressure points that have been known to induce labor before your preggo is full term (at least 37 weeks).


and...

Chop Blocking Anyone Who Tries to Touch The Belly: Many women may adhere to the self-loving aspect of this because they are the ones being violated when strangers or even well-meaning friends without permission try to touch the belly. But, men...friends, whomever is close to the preggo, can really tell her they love her by going Mister Miyagi on people who reach out unsolicited. Preggo feels protected and loved in unimaginable ways, I promise! I talked a little about this here, but I'll say it again. If you want to love on a preggo AND you want to touch her belly...ask first. I have no qualms about embarrassing someone in public or cutting their finger off if they come in unexpectedly. But I'd rather have someone else do my dirty work for me because I'm just too darn big, tired, cranky, etc...

So, there it is.  5 ways to love the preggo in your life. Find out which ones she needs when (she'll probably need all of them at some point over the 40 weeks), and hook a sister up. You'll be happy you did.

Your turn: What other pregnancy love languages can you think of? If you've been pregnant, what are some ways people have loved you well? Share, share, share!
  

Sweet Caroline

I'm a little embarrassed that it's taken me so long to post a blog about Caroline!

She's here. She's healthy. She's beautiful. We are so very blessed.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Caroline Sophia Berry

December 20, 2012

7lbs, 9oz. , 20 in.

 Sweet girl

 With Nissi

 And Papa John

 Already making faces for Papaw...

 Ella's ready for more big sister duties.

 Allie's not so sure...

 Daddy's really got his hands full now...3 girls!

 Always thoughtful Pappy came with gifts after watching big sisters all day.

 John John, Aunt Pepper, and Chancakes

 Some church friends...I wish I would've had a recording devise to capture the 1000 questions that cutie in purple asked me in the span of 20 minutes! So funny!

 The Smiths were in Charlotte from Greenville for the day and dropped by.

 Going home. Although I begged the hospital staff to let me stay another week or so! Round the clock help and room service...but alas, they kicked us out after 2 nights. We're on our own now.

 Sweet cheeks.

 Everyone loved Caroline's little hat. She'll grow into it soon, I'm sure!

 Daddy chest picture. Classic.

She's been such a huge blessing to our family. She fits right in and is so, so, so easy! Thank you, Lord!

From Don Juan to Stan the Man Van

When we bought our 2006 Nissan Pathfinder, we were on a hunt. We had just recently purchased the bigger, nicer, swankier Armada, but it was too good to be true. After less than 2 weeks, we found out that it was leaking oil and was going to cost $10k to replace the engine. And that, my friends, was not going to happen. We felt pretty frustrated at the whole ordeal, to say things like a pastor's wife should say them...

The Armada was fully loaded. Nav system, DVD system, heated leather seats, sunroof...you name it, it had it. But that engine issue...well, we just couldn't get over it for some reason. ;)  All the bells and whistles that the Armada boasted paled in comparison to the fact that the engine didn't work properly. Here would be a great opportunity to write about some deep spiritual metaphor pertaining to this reality. But I'm not feeling deep right now, so I'm gonna hold on to that for later. 

So when we went looking to trade in the Armada (we didn't want to sell it outright and give someone else our huge headache), we were looking only a few things:
1) It had to be certified. 
2) It had to have a warranty in case anything happened later. 
3) It had to have three rows of seats because we were picking up and dropping off a lot of teenagers for church those days.

And we found a great deal just outside Atlanta. We disclosed the engine problem, but since we were at a Nissan dealership, it was a lot less burdensome for them to fix it as a trade in than it would have been for us to get it fixed. It was the end of the month, and they needed to reach quota, so we were able to negotiate a pretty sweet deal, and get a certified Pathfinder with 30k less miles, and a warranty for our Armada. The Pathfinder didn't have a bell or a whistle. But neither of us cared. It had what we needed. We affectionately named him Don Juan the Nissan, and ol' Don Juan proved to be a wonderful addition to our family.

But loading both girls in Don Juan soon proved to take an effort. Among the missing bells were running boards that would help us step up and lift the girls into their car seats. When they got older, they were unable to reach the door handle on their own because it was located halfway up the window. So we began making Ella put her hand on the tire while we opened the door, strapped Allie in, and then walked around to get Ella situated.

This was pretty stressful for me because at such young ages, the kids aren't 100% great at obeying, and I was always keeping my eyes peeled for Ella to take her hand off the tire and run into a parking lot. I was like the "hand on the tire" Nazi, spitting threats through clinched teeth as I strapped her squirming sister into the car seat at lightning fast speed.

As they've grown, they could (barely) climb into the car themselves after I opened their doors, but the backseat was so small that they couldn't climb across easily from one side to the other, and that necessitated me to have to open each door. As my pregnancy progressed, the thought of picking them up to put them in faster makes me want to tear my hair out.

Plus, since both of them are on the small side, they are both in 5 point harness car seats. And we were wondering how in the world we were going to fit three across the backseat. Or, if we could put Ella in the 'way back', we couldn't figure out how to get HER back there and strapped in safely. Seemed like a big pain in the butt, and I was imagining that after Caroline came, I'd be stuck in the house FOR.EV.ERRRRRR! Or at least until they got their own driver's licenses.

So we began facing our fears head on. The fear was that we were going to have to move from "cool SUV driving parents" to "not so cool but practical minivan driving parents."My friend, Jodie, had once declared any minivan to be a "mommy mobile with no sex appeal." And for some reason, I believed her, although most families who drive minivans have multiple children, so I guess sex appeal doesn't completely dissolve. I mean, we do know how those babies are made, right?

And, with less than a month before Caroline was set to be on the Berry scene, we decided to get serious about this switcheroo. We scoured Craigslist, visited some dealerships, and came up with Stan.

Stan the Man Van, that is.

Actually, Brandon spearheaded the effort. He found Stan on Craigslist, he took Don Juan down to the dealership in Lancaster, SC, and he negotiated the deal. Then he bought a red bow and surprised me!

I never EVER thought that I would be THIS excited about having to drive a minivan. Minivans scream, "MOMMY!", and I hear that word enough during the day as it is. But Stan is so suave, so plush, so cozy, so spacious. Stan the Man opens the doors for the ladies. Literally. At the touch of a button on my key chain, Stan's doors open automatically, allowing my 4 and 2 year old treasures to climb in to safety without much effort at all. And now that treasure #3 is here, and I'm lugging that huge baby carrier around (why can't they figure out how to make safe and light baby carriers, by the way?), Stan's debonair ways are even more appreciated.

I love how much space Stan affords our family. The girls no longer have to keep their legs bent so as to not touch the seats in front of them. I no longer have dashboard stuck in my teeth every time we go on a road trip. We stored so much stuff in Stan on our first trip to Greenville, someone would have thought we were moving back.

Love it, love it, love it.

So for all you haters out there, I'm telling you something. I'm a convert. Stan the Man Van has my heart.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner-Part 2

The closet nursery...

Is almost finished. I'm pretty excited, actually.

For those of you who didn't know we were putting baby Caroline in our walk-in closet, check this post out for a little catch-u-up.

As for us, we are less than a week away from the anticipated arrival of baby girl #3, and are beyond excited to meet little miss Caroline.

We have pretty much completed most of the big projects needed for the launch of RWOC Charlotte, set for January 15th, 2012. It's like finishing an assignment early. I don't know if Brandon knows what that feeling is like, cause he was pretty much notorious for turning in projects at the last minute, or after.

We have bought a family-friendlier vehicle. More on that later!

We had a small baby shower with some local friends. It was a diaper and wipe shower, since we have pretty much what we need gear-wise for a baby girl. It was a wonderful time to stop, reflect, and celebrate Caroline's arrival.

And...the nursery in the closet is almost finished. Hall-le-lu-jer!

So here's a little breakdown of what's what.

We are finally using the crib we bought as an infant crib for the first time! Ella and Allie both used the same crib that I did when I was a baby...teething marks and all. We had bought new hardware for it to make sure it was up to date with safety issues, and it was so fun to have them in it. But we bought this crib that turns into a toddler bed and a full sized bed a little bit before Allie was born. We had Ella in it with the mattress at the lowest setting, cause she was just a 20 months old when Allie came along, but it wasn't long before we transitioned it to a toddler bed. Since then, a new recall has outlawed drop-side cribs, so Caroline won't be using the same crib Mom and her big sisters used. Instead, she gets the newer model. 



The crib sheet was a gift from a dear friend who just had her first child. She sent it a while back, and I told her I liked it so much I was gonna use it as my nursery decor inspiration. Well, Katie, I'm a woman of my word. I've also picked out a couple other fabrics on sale at Hobby Lobby that coordinate, and am going to make a couple more crib sheets for lil Miss using this link I found on Pinterest. Cost for other fabric:s $15 total.



The crib skirt is a homemade touch of brilliance that I adapted from one of my favorite blogs, Young House Love. I seriously don't miss a day of these folks' posts. Love them. And this crib skirt was super easy, and cheap! They did a 3 sided skirt, but I only had to do 1 side for the time being, because sides 2, 3, & 4 aren't visible! I did, however, buy enough fabric to make the other 2 sides in case we move the crib to a different spot or move homes and Caroline ends up somewhere besides the closet. Cost for crib skirt (1 sided): $7

The lime green frame was in a give-away pile. It actually was a plastic, gold (read: gaudy) mirror. After convincing Brandon we needed to put it in the car (he thought I was CRAZY), I ran over to Lowe's and grabbed a bottle of spray paint. Then I put on 3 light and even (for the most part) coats of lime green to cover the gold. Total cost: $3.77


The hot pink name and scripture wall decal was a must to tie things all together. I found it on Etsy, which is another wonderful site for ideas and homemade/creative gifts. This was, by far, the most expensive aspect of Caroline's nursery...with shipping, it cost $27. It conveniently came in the mail about 3 hours before my baby shower, so I had Brandon sticking it on the wall before it started so my friends could get the full effect. It makes me smile every time I see it. I heart it.

The hot pink with orange polka dot blanket was purchased off a gift card that I got from my credit card rewards. So, technically, that was free. And it's so soft and sweet.

The kelly green boxes were already on hand from IKEA, and they house Caroline's clothes, blankets, and burp cloths.

It's not installed just yet, but we bought this super cute chandelier from IKEA the other day for $20. Right now we have a fluorescent tube light in there that casts a pretty harsh light on things. So we think this will soften up the ambiance a bit.

I hit up Pinterest again for a super easy and cost effective storage option...reusing old diaper boxes by decorating them with burlap and ribbons! This gal's idea gave me lots of storage for just a few bucks! Cost of two burlap covered boxes: $6.

 Again, since I am pretty much obsessed with Pinterest, I found another cheap and easy project for this burlap covered wall hanging with button "C" on it. This project took me about 15 minutes and $2.

 

 

The wall clings were given to me by a friend who had them left over from her daughter's nursery. So not only were the FREE, but they also do pretty good to cover up Allie's 'artwork' --she took a brown crown to the flat paint, and I haven't had the energy to try to figure out if the Magic Eraser will work or not.


As far as other necessary nursery staples, we have the changing table pad in our room since she'll be spending a lot of time in there with us, and it's only a few steps from her nursery, and the same friend who hooked us up with the wall clings also donated her super cush rocker to us, and it is in our room doubling as a reading chair right now. It will be perfect for nighttime feedings and snuggling, and the light blue gingham blends in decently with our bedroom decor. 

So there we have it. A sweet little place to lay her head. And it cost a total of $80.77 out of my pocket. Not too shabby, eh? The wall opposite the shelves has yet to be decorated, but we'll wait to either find a great deal on something we can't live without or until I discover a Pinterest project that I just have to incorporate. When that happens, I'll be sure to update, as I know you'll be on pins and needles. ;)

Drives Me Crazy

Things that drive me crazy...holla if you can relate.

1) Grocery store cashiers who over pack bags or take no notice of the fact that I may not want my raw meat snuggling with my fruits and veggies... I recently had a cashier take the fact that I had a larger sized reusable bag for granted. Instead of putting many light things in it (like cereal boxes, pasta, etc...), she decided to put: 1 gal of milk, 1 OJ, 1 large apple juice bottle, 1 XL coffee creamer bottle, 1 carton of soy milk, 1 4lb box of Borax, and about 15 other light pantry things all in this one bag. The bag probably weighed 85 lbs. She must have not noticed that I'm not a body builder. She must have not noticed that I'm 8 months pregnant, either. Which brings me to the next thing that drives me crazy...

2) People who make stupid preggo comments and touch my belly without asking. I've blogged about this before here and here. Yesterday, while I was taking my girls down the hallway at church to put them in childcare, one of the ladies who works in the nursery leaned out the door as I walked past, and called out to me, "Nicole...are you pregnant?" I turned sideways and she said, "Oh, you didn't look pregnant until you turned sideways" (okay, that was nice), but then she had to add..."you about to have that baby, Nicole? You are so big!" Really? Thanks!  Then we had to get up in front of the whole congregation for an announcement about the campus coming to Charlotte. And since Apostle Ron mentioned the fact that I look like I'm about to have a baby right there on stage (which really wasn't a big deal cause he made it somewhat funny), apparently that gave everyone else in the congregation the permission they needed to make comments and jokes and touch my belly in between services. I won't even begin. And while I was complimented by many sweet friends that I was glowing, 'looking good hot mama' (these are people who must have read the aforementioned blogs or had been pregnant themselves), etc... I was also told by someone who probably meant well that I looked miserable. Geez, makes a girl all warm and fuzzy inside. I also have a family member who insists on commenting on how fat I'm getting every time I see him. Or every time I reach for food. I need to go on to the next one before I get really mad...

3) Traffic. It took us three and a half hours to get from Greenville to Charlotte last night. It usually takes less than two. Enough said.

4) Pretty much all people who want to put more on my plate these days. Did you know that in the next two months the Berrys will be: hosting Thanksgiving, finishing Christmas shopping, wrapping and decorating, training and traveling back and forth to Greenville a bazillion times to get ready for launch, buying EVERY SINGLE thing we have to have for our church, HAVING A BABY, celebrating Christmas in a new house, still mourning the fact that my mom's not here over the holidays, celebrating Brandon's 30th birthday, sleeping through New Year's, and planting a church that is set to start on my birthday. That's on top of things like working on keeping our marriage great, raising godly children, and keeping our house from becoming a cesspool of clutter, dirty laundry and germs. So please don't get offended if we don't send Christmas cards, remember your kid's 12th birthday, call 'just to chat', come to your ugly sweater Christmas party, or randomly offer to babysit so you can go on date night.  We are usually pretty good at these things, but this year... We. Just. Can't.  In fact, if you cook, clean, babysit or are a computer whiz, could you please help a sista out so I don't check myself into a mental hospital in the next few weeks? 

Okay, I should probably stop at 4. Plenty to chew on.  But feel free to add some of your own in the comments.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

But we sure as heck are about to put her in the closet.

Yep. You read that correctly.

You see, we recently moved to Charlotte, and have been renting a nice home in a nice neighborhood. There are three bedrooms...one for us, one for E & A who have shared a room since Allie was 2 months old, and one for our guests. We thought about turning the guest room into the nursery, but a few things stopped us:

1) We have overnight guests ALL THE TIME. I think out of the three months we've lived here, we've been home 6 weekends all together. And of those 6 weekends, we've had overnight guests 4 weekends. So that leaves a big, whopping 2 weekends that we've not had overnight guests. And that doesn't even take into account the overnight guests we've had during the weekdays. Hotel Berry. We like having guests and know that we have been blessed to be a blessing, so offering our home for friends, family and launch team members who are looking to move to Charlotte isn't a big deal for us. We know as we get closer to the launch and even into the new year, we should expect to have that room occupied with people from out of town. And that's cool.

But we couldn't imagine having to deal with the awkwardness of rearranging a guest room, incorporating a crib, changing table, and baby decor, and making our guests feel like they are intruding on baby's normal routine when they are visiting. Nope. Strike One.

2) It's expensive to make a nursery.  As mentioned before, it would take a lot of planning (and money) to bring our existing guest room decor and baby decor into agreement. In fact, it just wouldn't jive, so either we'd have to switch out the bedding for the baby or the bedding for the guest bed, or both. Or just live with clashing decor. No thank you. Strike Two.

Well, in this game, two strikes is enough. It's kind of like the opposite of T-ball where the players get unlimited attempts to hit the ball. We play hardball around here, yo.

So, looking around for other options, we had two options left. Put baby's crib in our bedroom or put baby's crib in our enormous walk-in closet.

At first we were gonna go with the bedroom. It's a rather large room, and even with a king sized bed and furniture, we could make it work without cramping us too much. But then we would run into the whole "how do we meld these two decor styles together" question again. We looked again at the closet. It has a vent and, again, it's huge. And the fact that we don't have very many clothes (certainly not enough to fill it) made this option a bit brighter.

Here would be an awesome opportunity to put a picture of the "Before" closet. Alas, I suck at thinking ahead these days and we got to work before I remembered to snap a pic. Boo me.

We took out the shelving on the back wall and on the right side, and consolidated all of our clothes to the front left part of the closet. 

Then we set up the crib on the back wall. This is a in-progress shot. I just put a rug down and a crib sheet on but don't have the skirt, or any decor yet. But you see how big this is? That is a BIG crib in there, people.

So next up is to think of some creative and renter-friendly way of decorating the wall. I'm thinking vinyl wall decals that stick and unstick easily. Also, I would really love to switch out the fluorescent tube light for a dainty chandelier...but that is going to have to be up to the owners, I think.

At first I was a bit hesitant to consider putting baby in the closet, but a few things really changed my mind:

1) Baby doesn't care. She's not going to even know the difference. I came to grips with the fact that most of the time when people spend crazy amounts of money and time on a baby nursery, it's not even really for the baby. It's for them. Not that it's some horrible thing to want to design a beautiful nursery. I remember when Ella was about to be born, setting up the nursery really helped me see the reality of the whole thing. There really is going to be a little person in here one day. But Ella could have cared less what fabric I picked out or the fact that I had her bumpers, crib sheets, Roman shade and diaper holder custom made, or how everything coordinated perfectly. All she cared about was being loved, well fed, and clean. Same with Allie.  Neither cared that their room was the second largest in the house, and neither even really used it except to sleep and be changed until they were older. By the time Caroline is old enough to know she sleeps in a closet, we will most likely be in a new house and she'll have a room (maybe).

2) It's close to us, but not too close.  We have to go through our master bathroom to get to the closet. And there are two doors that we can close if needed. This is a better option in our opinion than having her in a crib in our room because it does give us a little bit of privacy when we really need it. After she starts sleeping through the night, we will most likely want to have some semblance of rest and retreat sans baby in our bedroom.

3) It offers a separate, quiet spot for her to rest. Said another way, her sisters won't be all up in her grill all the time. And they won't have to tiptoe around because when she's asleep in her crib, she won't be able to hear them anyway unless they are playing in our bathroom (which has been known to happen at times--little girls LOVE to get into Mommy's lotions, makeup and hair stuff).

4) It's a great use of a space that would normally become a dumping grounds for junk. I really wish I had the "Before" picture of the closet. Because "Before" for us really meant "before I unpacked everything". We had lots of boxes and baskets of unorganized clothes that easily could have stayed put for months if I had not had the motivation of "let's transform this into a nursery". So, it forced us to purge some clothes and shoes, organize the others into seasons, and store the unused seasonal clothing elsewhere. When we go into the closet now, we are more likely to put things where they belong instead of just being lazy and dropping them on the floor (gasp...yes, we did that from time to time!)

5) It forces me to keep things simple. Between parenting 2 other angels, being a wife, and starting a church, I have a lot on my plate. And the fact that I love to be creative can actually work against me when thinking of designing a nursery..."Oooh, I saw this on Pinterest, I could do that!" thought a hundred times could really add up in time and money! Yes, I'd like to still make it special, but the fact that there isn't a ton of space will help me stay reigned in a little bit (I hope).

And yes, for those of you who are concerned about stuffiness, there is a vent in the closet that allows air to circulate, and we'll probably put a small fan in there for white noise/air circulation as well.

So that's where Lil' Miss Caroline will be spending her first few months (or until we move). And guests, we welcome you to Hotel Berry!

Do you have any ideas that you'd like to share on how we can make the closet nursery a sweet little spot? Please share in the comment section!

Organic Church Growth

As most of you know, Brandon and I are in the process of planting a satellite campus of Redemption World Outreach Center in Charlotte, NC. There is a lot, I mean, A LOT of work that goes into birthing one of these things (who knew, right? ha!)

And, as most of you know, we are also in the process of moving, and there is a lot, I mean, A LOT of work that goes into moving a family of four across state lines. As seen in this post, we are trying to sell our home in the Greenville area before we head over to look for homes in Charlotte. I would hate to find something I simply cannot live without only to realize I'll have to live without it because we don't have the funds available as they are tied into our house in SC. That would be bad.

During this time of transition, we have been spending a lot of time researching best practices (there are already a lot of churches doing this satellite campus thing well. Why reinvent the wheel, huh?), building launch teams, negotiating deals with possible sites in Charlotte, and trying to figure out the best way to market this awesome, life-giving church to the people of our new city. A lot of questions have arisen concerning how to grow a church.

And I think we have an answer. or at least an idea as to how RWOC Charlotte will be growing:

Yes, that is what you think it is. And yes, it is ours. And yes, we realize what craziness having a baby, moving, and starting a church all within a few months of each other can wreak on a family who already has a 2 year old and a 3 year old.

We are about 12 weeks in (that pic was taken about a month ago) and almost done with the yucky, nausea-filled, ultra-exhausted, all-I-wanna-do-is-lock-the-kids-in-their-room-and-take-an-uninterrupted-nap first trimester. Actually, the exhaustion has been doubled from what I remember from the last two babies, but the nausea hasn't been nearly as bad. In fact, not once (yet) have I had to quickly find a trash can, commode, or remote patch of grass (I learned the hard way never to throw up or pee on concrete--it always comes back to haunt you).  So happiness is on its way. I can feel it.

So, by Christmas, RWOC Charlotte will have at least one new member. And we couldn't be more tickled about it! Actually, on our awesome launch team (which I can't wait to tell you more about, they are awesome!), there are a few other families who are also expecting in 2011, so that is practically exponential growth! Charlotte, get ready!

Stupid Preggo Comments (Made Mostly By Men)

What is it about men that makes them utterly idiotic when they approach a pregnant woman? I personally think it's just because they have absolutely no idea what that woman is experiencing, and therefore, have absolutely no idea as to what to say. Even the men who have children of their own...their wives could have gone through it 2, 3, or 4 times and they can still really prove themselves to be major boneheads when they try to talk to a preggo.

Point in case #1:
I won't drop names, but will say a very influential person in our community who has three children of his own said this yesterday as he ran into me taking lunch orders for some volunteers who were helping with a project: " You look like you've put away some cheeseburgers..." What?!? Did you really just say that? Then he tried to back peddle by saying, "well, darlin' you deserve every one of them."

Point in case #2:
I stopped by the church yesterday with my dad to show him some renovations that are happening at the Teen Arena. I was greeted at the door by the husband of one of Brandon's staff members. I think they have 5 kids. I got out of the car, and he said something about how are the triplets, er...twins, er... I had to inform him that I would take him out without remorse if he said one more word to me.

Point in case #3:
While shopping at the Fresh Market with my mom yesterday, we were ordering some meat at the meat counter. The butcher who was helping us was trying to be funny (I guess all these guys were trying to be funny...he was the closest) and said to his partner, "Call security. This lady is trying to smuggle a watermelon out of the store under her shirt." That was followed by "If you were in a race all by yourself, you'd come in second." Okay...those were somewhat cute. I told him that I'm so competitive that if I was in a race with myself, I'd turn around and cross the finish line backwards.

Men...I know that if you have had a wife or girlfriend who has been pregnant that you had to have been more careful with your words with her. Take some advice...stop trying to be funny. Just be the caring and sensitive guy that you were when your significant other was about to have a baby.

In fact, here are few phrases that a pregnant woman would accept coming out of your I-have-no-idea-what-you're-going-through mouth:

• Wow! You look beautiful!
• How are you feeling?
• Is there anything I can do for you?
• You carry that baby so well. You have such grace during this stage of life.
• I remember when my (wife, girlfriend) was pregnant. I hope your man is treating you like the queen you are!
• How far along are you? or When's your due date? (and if she lets you know that she's not as far along as you thought she was, don't say anything else!)

Ladies, if you have any other acceptable phrases, feel free to leave them as comments.

Block Party

I just wanted to let you know that I'm serious about this no-touchy the belly thing. Today I started taking actions against unwanted outreaches.

A girl came up and looked like she was about to dribble my belly like a basketball. I pulled a Karate Kid on her and "waxed on" (or was it "waxed off"?) and gave her a look that told her to stop immediately. Yes, it was awkward, but I didn't care!

Someone else blindsighted me before this incident, though. She came from the side, and had her hand on my belly before I could chop, block, kick or spit, so I was stuck getting a Buddah rub.

But I'm getting quicker. By the time I get my defense tightened up, my belly will be replaced with a squirmy infant!

35 1/2 weeks

The Craving Satisfied

We recently took a quick trip to Charleston for Claire's baby shower. Brandon was originally going to stay home and work, but decided to escort Ella and I down to the lowcountry so we could get some coveted family time. It was awesome. We stopped in Columbia to see Mom and Dad for lunch, and made it down to Mt. Pleasant in time for dinner before the shower.

Ever since I had decided to make the trip, I had been nursing an ever-growing craving for a favorite dish served up by a local restaurant:

A fried-green tomato, (homemade) pimento cheese, and ham sandwich with collard greens on the side from Boulevard Diner. Ahhh...I almost want to type it out again...this is not your ordinary sandwich or your ordinary restaurant. The restaurant owned by a family who has a few restaurants of different genres in the Charleston area; there's an Italian restaurant and a more upscale restaurant...and then there's Blvd. Looking at it on the outside, you'd never know it was such a gem. But once you taste and see...and you walk out with money in your pocket AND a doggie bag of extra food (the portions are great), you'll understand. Brandon and I laugh when we think of our first date sans other people. He drove 3 and a half hours from Greenville after working construction all day and was covered in red clay when he arrived at the door. But after cleaning up, he was hungry, so we went to Blvd Diner and I introduced him to fried pickles. He was a bit skeptical at first, but ended up loving them!

So we had approximately 45 minutes to get to the restaurant, order, eat, pay, change clothes and make it to the shower on time. As unreasonable as it sounds now, I was NOT about to miss out, and Brandon was NOT about to allow me to forgo satisfying my craving. Here are some lovely pictures of pure preggo bliss:

The even had red Texas Pete for the collards, although my heartburn would only allow minimal coverage.

Excellent!

I take full credit for my husband's love of collards.

Daddy introducing Ella to fried pickles

She's such a good eater! She'll try anything!

33 Weeks Along...and Venting.

As you can see, Allie Berry is growing...and growing...and growing! We're at the point where random people are approaching my belly with hands outstretched. I have always wondered about that. They don't know me from Eve and I guess that because I'm carrying another life in my womb, they assume that I really can't be all that bad. They don't know. I could be carrying a weapon or just decided to judo chop their butts to the ground in the middle of Main Street. They'd look really silly then, huh? Getting beat up by a preggo. I mean, they wouldn't approach a business man or a homeless person or the guy on the corner with a "Turn or Burn" message board or a Mom with 2 kids running around or a college student on her laptop or an extremely obese person and just start rubbing their bellies! Why me?

People at church are funny, too. I guess that since they think that since we worship the same God that it makes it okay to rub and make pretty dumb comments about how big I'm getting. Maybe they think that since I'm a pastor's wife, I won't turn around and say something right back to them. I'd like to turn the questions on some of them and ask them if they are about to deliver twins when they ask me if I'm sure there is just one kid in there. One dude asked me if I was going to be the next octuplet mom! WHAT? He's a little hefty himself, and when I relayed this to Brandon, he suggested I say, "No, are you?"

Here's just a warning: I'm pregnant, I'm tired and sometimes I'm a little mean on top of my normal, everyday, I'll-come-right-back-with-some-comment way of life. So hands off and keep the fat comments to yourself. Right now what I need is a nap, an antacid pill, someone to watch my lively 18 month old, and some compliments about a pregnancy glow that I hear some women have.

There, I said it.

The Ever Growing Baby Belly

I swore that I wouldn't be that mom who captures every possible thing for her first child and has virtually nothing to show for the second child. I've seen parents who have baby books for their first that look like a volume of Encyclopedia Brittanica and scrapbooks that could be published in Creating Keepsakes, and then the second kid has a few measly pictures thrown into an album.

But here I am about to have number two and I need to publicly apologize to all the moms I've secretly judged in the past because I now understand why it is so incredibly difficult to keep up! So here's my sorry attempt at capturing a few moments of this pregnancy. Allie, if you ever read this, please know that Mommy and Daddy love you very much and are sooooo excited for you to come join our family! We just forget to record it sometimes! If it's any consolation to you, I haven't even started on Ella's scrapbook yet either!

27 Weeks Preggo

31 Weeks Preggo

I'm gonna try to keep up for the last few weeks...at least enough to show a difference!