Saturday, March 28, 2009

Stupid Preggo Comments (Made Mostly By Men)

What is it about men that makes them utterly idiotic when they approach a pregnant woman? I personally think it's just because they have absolutely no idea what that woman is experiencing, and therefore, have absolutely no idea as to what to say. Even the men who have children of their own...their wives could have gone through it 2, 3, or 4 times and they can still really prove themselves to be major boneheads when they try to talk to a preggo.

Point in case #1:
I won't drop names, but will say a very influential person in our community who has three children of his own said this yesterday as he ran into me taking lunch orders for some volunteers who were helping with a project: " You look like you've put away some cheeseburgers..." What?!? Did you really just say that? Then he tried to back peddle by saying, "well, darlin' you deserve every one of them."

Point in case #2:
I stopped by the church yesterday with my dad to show him some renovations that are happening at the Teen Arena. I was greeted at the door by the husband of one of Brandon's staff members. I think they have 5 kids. I got out of the car, and he said something about how are the triplets, er...twins, er... I had to inform him that I would take him out without remorse if he said one more word to me.

Point in case #3:
While shopping at the Fresh Market with my mom yesterday, we were ordering some meat at the meat counter. The butcher who was helping us was trying to be funny (I guess all these guys were trying to be funny...he was the closest) and said to his partner, "Call security. This lady is trying to smuggle a watermelon out of the store under her shirt." That was followed by "If you were in a race all by yourself, you'd come in second." Okay...those were somewhat cute. I told him that I'm so competitive that if I was in a race with myself, I'd turn around and cross the finish line backwards.

Men...I know that if you have had a wife or girlfriend who has been pregnant that you had to have been more careful with your words with her. Take some advice...stop trying to be funny. Just be the caring and sensitive guy that you were when your significant other was about to have a baby.

In fact, here are few phrases that a pregnant woman would accept coming out of your I-have-no-idea-what-you're-going-through mouth:
  • Wow! You look beautiful!
  • How are you feeling?
  • Is there anything I can do for you?
  • You carry that baby so well. You have such grace during this stage of life.
  • I remember when my (wife, girlfriend) was pregnant. I hope your man is treating you like the queen you are!
  • How far along are you? or When's your due date? (and if she lets you know that she's not as far along as you thought she was, don't say anything else!)

Ladies, if you have any other acceptable phrases, feel free to leave them as comments.


Jill said...

Ha! It's amazing what people will say, isn't it? I'm on the other side - but I have a list a mile long of the stupid things people say to someone struggling with infertility.
It really is eye opening. It certainly teaches you to be sensitive! I've had to learn about extending grace to people because truly, unless someone has walked in your shoes, they don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. The multiples comments get me every time :) Is it bad that I always want to say, "Well, at least I have a hope of losing my gut . . . unlike you." Oh, sometimes I have to HOLD that tongue!