First of all, I just wanted to say how encouraged I am when I hear from long-lost friends and family and they know what's going on in our lives because they say they read our blog on a somewhat regular basis. That's so awesome, and I'm thankful that you would take the time to do that. If that is you, feel free to comment (you don't have to be a member of blogger to do so) on any of the posts periodically or email me here to let us know what's going on in your lives. It's sometimes funny to get in a conversation with people who know about what's happening in our lives and we know nothing about what is happening in theirs!
Anyway, that being said, I'd like to share with y'all about something that our family has been going through this last week. Some of you had seen a short-lived previous post of Ella in her "I'm gonna be a big sister!" shirt, and may be wondering why it isn't there anymore. We found out on Sunday, June 22 that we were expecting another baby...and couldn't be happier. After a few pregnancy tests, we felt like it was official.
Romans 12:15 tells us to "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." We have always believed in sharing both good and bad news with our friends and family because 1) we have been so blessed to be surrounded by people who love us and support us through prayer and encouragement and 2) we just want to be real...and this is a way to show ourselves to be just that...real people with real triumphs and real let-downs. We shared our rejoicing over new life and expectation for what was to come. Now we share our hopeful frustration...
On Friday, June 27 we woke up and I found out that I was bleeding pretty heavily. We called the doctor and got in to see them as soon as possible. They did ultrasounds and blood tests and later confirmed what we already suspected, that a miscarriage was happening.
We have had a mixture of emotions:
On one hand, we understand that the statistics say pregnancies spontaneously end almost half the time. We know that so many miracles have to happen to have a normal, healthy pregnancy and deliver a normal, healthy baby. On the other, we serve a God of miracles, who we believe made our bodies to reproduce normal, healthy babies. We see His hand in everything. We know that He is the author and sustainer of abundant life. We have seen how prayer changes things and how He has given us authority through Christ over things in our world. We are in the midst of learning how to have heaven on earth. Our faith has been growing to believe God for crazy things, and we've seen them happen on many occasions.
So when this happened, we were confused. We had prayed, we had believed for this baby and for a healthy pregnancy. But it wasn't what happened. In the midst of this we are confused, but we are realizing that it's not always for us to understand, but to trust. God didn't bring this about, but He knew about it and has been close to us throughout bringing comfort. Of course, we're disappointed, but we also have a residing peace inside of us. We rejoice in trials...that God would allow us to go through them so that we may be made mature and complete...not lacking anything. Like Job, we have been found worthy of a test, and pray that we make it through it bringing glory to God.
We're even more thankful for the perfect angel that graces the posts of our blog and the days of our life. In the midst of this, we are reminded what a miracle she is...a precious gift from our Heavenly Father. Let us fall more in love with You through this, Father. Let our lives be for your glory and your fame, Lord.