Anticipation

They say that every pregnancy is different. That it's unrealistic to compare woman to woman, or even among babies coming from the same mama.

Since lil' miss Kate will be our 4th daughter, I've noticed that this pregnancy has had many similarities to the others. I've had many of the same cravings: lemonade, pickles, and greasy food (in the beginning, probably because it was the best at keeping my nausea away for the longest bout of time). My belly button has popped out like a turkey timer on all four pregnancies. And I've carried all my babies high, and that probably contributes to the super-crazy amounts of heartburn I've experienced with each one.

Some things that have been a little different with Kate are the cravings I had for meat and salty things early on in pregnancy, the fact that I didn't throw up in my first trimester, the stretch marks that showed up on my belly for the first time, the fact that I'm able to sleep a lot better than with the other three (when the other three don't wake me up in the middle of the night) and...

I'm officially over my due date. 

Yup, who would have thought that the 4th baby would be the latest? Ella came right on time, Allie threw me into labor in the middle of a church service a week before my due date, and Caroline was induced a week early because she was due two days after Christmas, and we honestly didn't want to take the chance of missing out on Christmas if she came a little early...not with two little girls full of excitement waiting for us.

But Kate is enjoying her stay in Hotel Mama, and has requested a late check-out of sorts.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I began praying about her delivery process and felt led to research the possibility of doing labor and delivery without drugs. At first, I thought that I was half-looney. After all, the other three all came with the help of epidurals, and truth be told I had wonderful experiences with all of them. I labored until I was about 7 or 8 and then got the epidural, took a nap, woke up, pushed a few times, and enjoyed meeting my new bundle of joy! What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing, I say.

Perhaps the full explanation of how I came to agree with going natural and unmedicated in this L & D will require its own post in the near future (or after I actually deliver, and we can see my pre- and post- L & D thoughts). But suffice it to say that for now, I am believing that my body is ready and equipped to do what it was made to do, and I am actually excited about delivering Kate without the help of an epidural. Yes, pain and all. And so living out this decision necessitates that I wait for labor to start on its own.

But back to that due date. And her being late. Maybe it's a 4th baby thing...she's just going to be laid back and go with the flow, right? Let's hope so. Maybe she just is a little scared of the three energy-filled sisters she hears on the outside. I don't know why, but for whatever reason she is content to just hang out, even though we all think she should be done cooking.

Two weeks ago, we really thought she was on her way. I had been having contractions 5-6 minutes apart from dinner time on Saturday night, all through the night until Sunday morning. Brandon headed off to church (on my orders, to get things set up, and because his parents were spending the night anyway, so I felt confident I'd be okay), and by 10am, I was still contracting, but it wasn't painful at all, so instead of sitting at home counting contractions and watching my kids mess up my nesting-clean house, I decided we needed to go on to church. Remember, Allie began her arrival during a church service, so maybe Kate would kick it into high gear during praise and worship or something.

Well, Brandon was super excited, and from the stage, he actually announced that I was having contractions and that if we got up and left, it was because we were on our way to the hospital. I wanted to crawl under the seat, as everyone went into hyper-baby mode. By the time service was over, my contractions were 3.5mins apart, but still not hurting, and I knew it wasn't yet time to head to the hospital. So, despite the frantic people telling me to get to the hospital right away before 'that baby comes in this movie theater', we decided to get some lunch and get back to the house to put the girls down for their rest and go for a walk while the grandparents were still around. After the walk, we laid down to rest ourselves...

And the contractions stopped. Completely. Nada. Nothing. Womp, wooommmmmmpppppp.

Since then, we've been thinking every day..."today could be the day". That following week was so very unproductive, as we both kind of cleared our schedules thinking we were so close. Friends and grandparents all were on high alert, ready to help at a moment's notice.

By the next Sunday, I dreaded going back to church with my huge belly, but thankfully our folks were encouraging and supportive in their comments. Another week passed, and by then everyone (especially me) was wondering when baby Kate was going to make her appearance. Friends admitted to Facebook stalking me, searching for clues that I was in labor or pictures of a healthy baby. Phone calls, texts, and almost every conversation revolved around due dates, signs of labor, advice on getting labor started, and the like.

Back at church on Sunday, I was worshiping the Lord, and I heard Him say this to me,

"Nicole, you and everyone else are anticipating the arrival of this new baby and that is wonderful. My question to you is, 'what would your life look like if you anticipated beholding My presence like you're anticipating beholding this child?'"

Boom.

How would our lives be changed if we waited, ever so hopeful, senses heightened, eyes peeled for any sign of God's presence in our day? What would our conversations, our prayers, our attitudes look like? How would our priorities and daily routines change when we clear our schedules to wait for Him? What kind of ministry would be done through us if we knew that He would be returning for us soon, and recognizing that there will be millions who don't yet know Him.

So that's what I've been chomping on for the last day because I'm convinced that eventually this baby will be born, but seeking the Lord in all His glory will be a lifelong endeavor, and I want to do it with great anticipation and excitement.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deut 4:29

What about you?

Mommy

It's been two years this week since our dear friends lost their firstborn son the day they were expecting to deliver him. Brave is still very alive in our hearts and we long for the day on the other side of this life where we will meet him face to face.

"Mommy!"
"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..."

"MMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!"

I hear it every day. So many times every day.

I've been guilty of declaring, "that's not my name today," eager to hide from the little voices behind the needs that will distract me from my conversation, my tasks.

And yet, she longs for it. For the distractions. For the little voice.
It would be a welcomed and coveted beautiful sound in her ear.

To hear her baby's cry, as she feels her body preparing to nourish him and realizes her clothes are soaked and will need to be changed before she runs errands later.

To hear her toddler's sweet, squeaky voice call out for her,
tearing her away from whatever less important task she was accomplishing.

To hear her preschooler ask for help spelling his well-fitting name. 

These are sounds I hear every day.
These are the sounds I take for granted every day.

Lord, I'm sorry.
Friend, I'm sorry.

Two years. Two years without her firstborn.
My heart still wrenches for her when I think of how Brave she's had to be.

My children. Healthy. Here. Needy of my attention and love.
Everything else pales in comparison. Really.





Andrew & Christy have displayed incredible bravery as they have grieved these last two years. For more information on their journey, you can visit them here or here.

The 5 Love Languages of Pregnancy

I remember reading Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages for the first time. It was so eye opening. It was then that I was able to see in words how most people give and receive love. I recognized that one of my main love languages is Quality Time. I love spending real time with people, getting past the surfacy conversations and getting to know and be known by someone. I also saw how I was giving love the way that I most desired to receive it, but had to adjust and find out what love language others were 'speaking' in order to tell them that I love them.

For instance, Brandon's main love languages are Words of Encouragement and Physical Touch. When I speak life into him, tell him that he's doing an awesome job, speak positively of him in front of others...or when I give him lots of hugs, kisses, back scratches, and er....well, this IS a post about pregnancy, so you get where I'm going with this....he feels loved. Me just buying him a gift simply won't cut it.

And that's no good.

Since I've been a Stay At Home Mom, I think that besides needing Quality Time (read: no screaming kids around while we try to have a conversation), my other love language that is high up there is Acts of Service. When Brandon helps with the nighttime routine (which is pretty often) or gets a wild hair to clean the entire kitchen or wash and clean out my car, I get all warm and gooey inside. He's much more likely to have that Physical Touch need met, too, so we both win. Having three small kids and being engrossed in everyday acts of service for others really allows me to appreciate it when others take small things off my plate.

But now that we are in the last few weeks of our fourth full pregnancy, I have come to find out that there are other, unpublished love languages that pertain to my life right now. My sister-in-law, who is always a wealth of wisdom and just so happens to be preggo too, and I were discussing some of these love languages of pregnancy.

Sleep:  For the preggo, sleep may arguably be the most popular love language. That first trimester is simply exhausting. Personally, I remember never being so tired in all my life. When I was pregnant with Ella, I would come home from work, sit on the couch, and wake up hours later. No dinner had been made, no cleaning or planning for the next day...I would simply shuffle from the couch to the bed and sleep until my alarm would rudely awaken me the next morning. And no, brushing my teeth was not a priority during those times. It only got worse with Allie's pregnancy because although I wasn't working anymore, I had 1 year old to run after, and that was a WHOLE lot more tiring than sitting at a desk. With Caroline, we were in the middle of moving to a new city, leaving our friends, family and connections, and...on the side...no big deal, WE PLANTED A CHURCH. (Note: don't do this. Just don't.) Now, with the fourth child...well, I'm still so tired I can't even express myself adequately. You get the point. It gets worse with more chil'ren. And it doesn't just end. The first trimester and the last trimester are both super sleepy times for Mama. So if you have a preggo and want to tell her you love her, give her a break to get some shut eye. Men, put the kids down to bed yourself and tell her to get in bed and not worry about a thing. Friends and family: offer to watch the kids or help out so she can get some much needed sleep. She'll feel super duper loved.

Food: This can go two ways. One, the preggo is going to have some serious CRAVINGS. This happens mostly through the first and second trimester, but in the third she will definitely know what she wants to eat most of the time. There's just something about having a craving satisfied that makes a preggo happy, happy, happy. And two, there are going to be some serious AVERSIONS. If your preggo can't stand the smell of fish during pregnancy, don't go to Harbor Inn at lunch and come home smelling like an aquarium. Don't even mention Red Lobster. Don't request shrimp scampi for dinner. Whatever her aversion is, note it and STAY AWAY. You'll be happier, I promise, when she feels loved in this way. And don't get upset if her aversions include your favorite foods or change suddenly. Just go with it, because like other pregnancy-related downers, this too shall pass.

Sanity: This is super important for a preggo because pregnancy is a time when our minds are racing. If this is a first pregnancy, there are no less than a gazillion things going through Lil' Mama's mind. It's a time when anxiety levels can be high, so if you know a preggo, give her space to collect her thoughts. Perhaps a Starbucks gift card (if she doesn't have an aversion to the smell of coffee, that is) and a journal so she can write down her thoughts, lists, To Do's, etc... Also, don't pile more on her plate than normal. This is not the time to announce to her that you are quitting your job to pursue your hobby as a full-time means of income, or that you want to take an trip out of the country that just so happens to land during her 36th week. This does nothing but make for more craziness going on in her mind. Finally, go with the flow when it comes to her forgetting things. Because she will. Often. Even the most organized, on-top-of-it preggos get pregnancy brain. We can't remember our own middle names sometimes, much less where we put that receipt that you need for reimbursement. Instead of scowling, just say, "it's okay, babe" and figure something else out.

Massage: Massage can often be tied in with Sanity (i.e. a massage definitely helps keep a preggo sane). My husband has always been good about hooking me up with an hour long prenatal massage sometime in my second or third trimester. During my last pregnancy, my dad actually sent me to the spa for a whole day of pampering...massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. Marvelous. Having the opportunity to put your big 'ole belly in a hole and lay face down in a dark, warm, relaxing room while someone massages your sore back is pure bliss. Especially when you are growing another person in your womb and haven't been able to sleep in your favorite position in over 6 months. If you can't afford a prenatal massage for the preggo you love, feel free to pull out the lotion or massage oil and offer to hook a sister up with a massage yourself, focusing on her lower back, neck, fingers, legs, and feet. Please note, massage should be reserved for the second and third trimester only. Also, be aware and stay away from prenatal pressure points that have been known to induce labor before your preggo is full term (at least 37 weeks).


and...

Chop Blocking Anyone Who Tries to Touch The Belly: Many women may adhere to the self-loving aspect of this because they are the ones being violated when strangers or even well-meaning friends without permission try to touch the belly. But, men...friends, whomever is close to the preggo, can really tell her they love her by going Mister Miyagi on people who reach out unsolicited. Preggo feels protected and loved in unimaginable ways, I promise! I talked a little about this here, but I'll say it again. If you want to love on a preggo AND you want to touch her belly...ask first. I have no qualms about embarrassing someone in public or cutting their finger off if they come in unexpectedly. But I'd rather have someone else do my dirty work for me because I'm just too darn big, tired, cranky, etc...

So, there it is.  5 ways to love the preggo in your life. Find out which ones she needs when (she'll probably need all of them at some point over the 40 weeks), and hook a sister up. You'll be happy you did.

Your turn: What other pregnancy love languages can you think of? If you've been pregnant, what are some ways people have loved you well? Share, share, share!
  

Simply Sassy Designs

I took the plunge and started getting my creative juices flowing this spring. I don't know if it was moving into a new home and wanting to be able to re-create our style on the new pallet, or what, but one thing led to another, and Simply Sassy Designs has been resurrected.

I've had some success with it already...buying furniture at yard sales and off Craigslist and "re-loving" the pieces with fresh paint and hardware. I even have had one new bride who was the recipient of some hand-me-downs and has had me redo a few of those pieces for her and her new husband's home. It's definitely been a fun little adventure that has also been beneficial to our budget in this season of our lives!

Here is the link to my Simply Sassy Designs blog, for those interested in seeing more transformations.

Nerd Night

Truth be told, I was fairly warned ahead of time.

I remember Brandon's college roommates playfully giving him a hard time about being "deep". They'd refer to his sometimes ill-timed desires for deep conversation as "BBerry's getting into philosophical mode".  They recalled stories of how they'd be ready to go to bed and he would come into their room wanting to talk about deep theological issues until they finally had to kick him out to get some shut eye.

For some reason, I didn't take them seriously.

And then I got married to "BBerry" and we moved clear. across. the. country.  Just me and him. No friends, no mentors, no kids...just us. And in the midst of both being full-time grad students and newly weds, we spent a lot of time together and not as much time in big social groups.

That's when I realized these guys were being serious about philosophical mode.

I tried to track with him most of the time, at first. You know, the new wife thing where every word that comes out of his mouth is awesome personified. But somewhere between years 2 and 3 (ironically, right after we had our first baby), I was no longer able to keep up step for step with all of his topics of conversation. 

Most of you who know my dear hubby know what I'm talking about. He likes to go deep. Sometimes really deep. Sometimes so deep that you wonder if and when he will have to come back to the shallows for some air.

It's one of those things about him that I have a love/hate relationship with. One on hand, I love that I'm not the deepest person in this relationship, or we'd be stuck watching Napoleon Dynamite and this:

I love that he's a deep thinker and especially that he takes the time and makes the space in his calendar to meditate, reflect, research and study. I'm not good at that, and I'll admit that many times when he brings up something that is going to require me to put on my swimmies (read: a little too deep for my comfort level), once I actually go there with him, I usually feel pretty intrigued, and possibly a little wiser.


But there's this other side of me that wishes I had he'd have someone else to share some of this stuff with. And please understand that I'm not at all trying to dishonor my husband. I mean, for crying out loud...he's trying to explain Shechem to me, but at least he's not bar fighting. It could be a lot worse. When I'm really honest, it's not that I don't like going there with him (to the deep convos, not the bar), it's just that with three kids 4 and under and...nevermind, all I need to say is "with three kids 4 and under", I just don't have the time nor energy to track with him when he wants to explain why the red heifer is important.


So a few years ago, I was getting tired of trying to act interested when he wanted to go really, really deep...I'm talking seven bowls of revelation and stuff like that. So, I suggested that I bake brownies and he could invite his friends over to talk about stuff like that and let me off the hook.

And Nerd Night was officially invented.

It was awesome. Three of his buds (all Furman grads and self admitted to like to go deep) would come to the house after we put the girls down for bed, and they'd stay up all night mapping out scripture, talking through obscure verses, and praying. Meanwhile, I'd hide away in my bedroom with a novel or movie or just take that opportunity to go to bed early. Did I mention it was awesome? He got an outlet and I got a break.

In the process, Brandon has grown close with each of these godly men. I've loved watching him get excited to dig in with them. They've even driven all the way to Charlotte to continue the tradition! I'm so thankful for their friendship and their individual relationships with the Lord which encourage and challenge my husband.

So here's to Nerd Night! May God richly bless these guys with more wisdom and knowledge as they seek him diligently!

I'm still here...

My life has been crazy since my last post in February. Three kids and a new church ain't no joke. I longingly look at my blog shortcut on top of my internet toolbar throughout the day and think, "I wish I had time to write a blog."

So here is a start. A very small start.

Ella is beginning school next week. Allie will also be going to pre-school three mornings a week. I'm about to go from having three small children in the house all day long to having time with just Caroline.

Not sure what I'm going to do with the time. Study the Word. Play with my baby. Clean my house. Get on top of my To-Do list? Rest?

Maybe I'll blog about it.

Day 7: Button

Okay, okay, okay. I didn't take this picture today.

"Why didn't you have enough time/energy/hutzpuh to take a picture of a button today, Nicole," you may ask?

Well, really, I had great intentions to do so. A button. Let's see. My girls have the cutest button noses. I could have taken a picture of them. I just made hair bows with button on them. That would have been perfect for a picture and blog post.

But truthfully, yesterday Brandon and I tried to live intentionally. Tried, is the key word here. Tried is so closely spelled like TIRED. 

Brandon woke up early. Got in the Word. Got his prayer on.
I woke up early. Fed the baby. Got in the Word. Got some prayer on.

The girls woke up later. Hallelujah. Could be because they didn't fall asleep the night before until 11pm, but that's a whole other story.

After Word and prayer and the sleepy girls got up, Brandon helped them make oatmeal and we had a picnic in our bedroom after I planned out our day of learning and engaging.

About that. We are trying to be more intentional about pouring into our kids. We've been so busy with moving, the church launch, being preggo, having a new baby, etc...that we have been guilty of letting Nick Jr. engage them more than we have. Not good. Not okay. Not anymore was our answer.

But after an hour of teaching them about Noah and his ark...practicing our N's, coloring, counting by twos, playing outside, etc...then making lunch and cleaning together and strategically waiting until they were 'resting' to get work done, and then playing outside again and making dinner and cleaning...

I was about to self-destruct. And I totally didn't care that I got into bed at 9:02pm without taking a button picture.

Being intentional is kind of like getting in shape. It takes a while to be able to run a few miles when you haven't run much at all in the last few months. So I'm gonna keep at it.

Day 6: Dinner

Berry Family Kitchen

Menu

Tender Ham Steak cooked in Cast Iron Skillet

Homemade Hash Brown Casserole

Hearts of Romaine and Spinach Salad with Tomatoes, Carrots, Celery, Bacon, and Cheese.

Beverage: Ice Water

Notes: Allie and Ella helped make the salad. Allie didn't eat it. Allie didn't really want to eat anything. Except the "hotdogs" with ketchup. Allie had a time out during dinner for getting out of her chair a bazillion times. Ella tried the hash brown casserole and liked it, Green Eggs and Ham style. "I like it Sam I Am!" Caroline was screaming when I put dinner down on the table, but I was smart and pre-cut my ham so I could hold her and eat without issues, allowing my wonderful husband to get his grub on without having to hold a crying baby. Selfless, I know... ;)  Actually, Caroline decided she was also hungry for dinner at the same time, so I go my multi-tasking self to work.

And after all that, I completely forgot to take the Day 6: Dinner picture.

But I did make cookies and the as the Berry girls were snuggling in with Daddy for the 17 thousandth viewing of "Tangled," I snapped a quick dessert picture. 

And here it is...

Day 5: 10am

Day 5 was Sunday. At 10am, we are in the middle of church. And at 10am today, we happened to be in the church that we helped plant and now lead as the campus pastors, RWOC Charlotte! This picture is the culmination of a year and a half of training, hard work, relationship building, and a lot of prayer! It's exciting to see it become a reality.

Day 4: A Stranger

These have become quite the strangers in the last 10 months. I'd like to get reacquainted with them real soon...

Day 3: Hands

 

 This hand,

So small, so soft. 

Soon it will grow. 

Soon it will have sticky stuff all over it.

Soon it will be learning how to tickle. 

Soon it'll learn how to hold a crayon and make irreplaceable masterpieces.

This hand,

Soon it will hold a handlebar with white knuckles as Daddy lets go of the bike for the first time.

Soon it will learn how to navigate monkey bars.

Soon it will hold the strap of a book bag as she walks out the door for school. 

This hand, 

Reaching for a chord on an instrument

Or slapping high fives after a game-winning goal

What will this hand experience in victory and character-building defeats?

This hand,

Too soon it'll be used to text and tweet.

To update statuses and update Mom on her whereabouts.

And white-knuckled again, it will grip the steering wheel of Daddy's car for the first time.

This hand, 

I wonder whose hand it will hold one day.

Who will ask for this hand in marriage?

What will this hand look like with a wedding band on it?

This hand, 

How will it be used to heal the broken, the forgotten, the poor?

How will it feel like Jesus' hand to those whom it touches?

How will it fit in the body of Christ?

This hand, 

in His capable hands,

I hold her loosely in my own hands

To release her into His care, for his service, for His glory.

Day 2: Words

This is a tee-tiny lil' snippet of our humongous white board. Humongous as in, "it takes up an entire wall" big. When we moved to Charlotte, Brandon was pretty much looking for a house to fit the board. I hear that you're not supposed to look for a new home based on your furniture...I don't know if the idiom translates to office equipment. To say the least, I was opposed to putting it in the loft office at the top of our stairs...the room everyone has to walk through when they come up to the bedrooms.

"Babe, it's too intimidating."

I lost that battle. Can't win them all, I guess.

And now it hangs in all its glory.

But somehow I've grown to like it. I rather enjoy seeing my husband's thoughts, his words written out. His mind is so full of wisdom, strategy, prophetic visions, and many times I am able to connect with him by seeing what he's written, even when we haven't had a lot of face-to-face time recently.

For the record, I like face-to-face time a lot better.

The board is a topic of conversation that comes up a good bit because we spend a lot of time up in the office. We laugh because there are some of the words that have been there since day one (if you erase that, you are dead to me, woman) and others that don't live on the board longer than a few seconds thanks to our "helpful" children are fascinated with the erasable aspect of Dry-Erase. We've learned to put the really important stuff out of reach so it doesn't get wiped off with little fingers.

If words are life, there's a lot of life on that board.

Day 1: Your View Today

 

Okay, so this is technically four pictures. Overachiever. But as I think of my view today, this is pretty telltale. Sweet Caroline hanging out in her swing (when she's not nursing, being held, getting changed, getting bathed, getting tummy time, getting burped, spitting up all over me, napping, etc.) 

This morning I took these pics with my iPhone as Ella and Allie played blocks and Brandon was at a meeting.

Which leads me to admit that I'm completely spoiled. There, I said it. 

I'm spoiled in a lot of ways, but one I'd like to touch on right now is the fact that my husband gives me until 10am almost every morning to spend by myself with the Lord. He usually wakes up early, gets his own time with the Lord in before the girls wake up, and then engages them while making breakfast. He then brings me coffee and breakfast in bed and closes the door so I don't get distracted.

Why does he do this? Because about 6 months ago when we moved to Charlotte, the Lord told him to make room for me to have uninterrupted time with Him. And he's doing his best to obey. Hallelujer!

As a mom to (then) two little girls, preggo w/#3, trying to keep my house in Greenville spotless for possible showings, researching where to move to in Charlotte, and helping plant RWOC Charlotte, I was taking on a lot of responsibility and not doing so great at keeping my #1 priority #1. So I guess God missed me and told Brandon to give me some space. 

Thankfully, it didn't take long to remember that I do, in fact, love Jesus...a LOT!

So to tie all this rambling back to my picture...I was up with Caroline, Allie, and Ella this morning early while Brandon was meeting with a couple of guys for breakfast. And this was the picture I shot during my early morning time with my girls.

Up For A Challenge

My sister-in-law, Pepper who can be found over here, is so very good about taking pictures. She always has been since I've known her. When their first son, my stellar nephew, Channing, was born, Pepper was one of those moms who set out to take Chancake's picture EVERY WEEK for the first year of his life...and actually succeeded. 

Completely amazing, if you ask me. 

We all oooohed and aaaahed at his epic 1st birthday party as she creatively displayed each week's photo on a clothesline/timeline...seeing him grow and change week by week was fantastic, especially since our families lived over 4 hours away from each other, and our times together that year weren't super frequent. 

So, I got stole the idea from Pepper, and decided to take Caroline's picture each week of her life with the intent to display them at her 1st birthday party. Pepper encouraged me and gave me a tip, "plug it into your phone's calendar and set a reminder so you don't forget." So into my trusty iPhone went, "Take Caroline's weekly pic". 

Week One. iPhone calendar reminder beeps. Okay, I'm on it. Get camera. Get baby dressed. Pick out a cute fabric to lay baby on. Check lighting. Work camera. Wait...(Note to self: Self, you REALLY need to figure out how to use this camera! What's the point of having a sweet, super deluxe camera with all these cool settings if you're clueless as to how to use any of them except the automatic feature?). K, if you can't work it, just do what you can, sister.

Click, click, click, click, click...

Photoshop or no? (Further note to self: Self, you also REALLY need to figure out how to use your Photoshop program. What's the point of paying for sweet computer photofinishing programs if you're clueless as to how to use it?) No. 

And this is what I came up with. Nothing Ansel Adams worthy, but there is a sweet little snookie wookie in that picture who has pretty much stolen my heart.

Week Two. iPhone calendar reminder beeps. But baby is sleeping. Hmmph...I'll wait. 

And that was the end of my Picture-by-the-Week endeavor. Sorry, Caroline. 

So it is with great trepidation that I even put this out there. I saw this on Pinterest and wanted to at least take a go at it. A picture a day, for 29 days (hello, Leap Year). Some days will be focused on the aforementioned snookie wookie...Others will be my other loves and randomness from my life. We'll see how far I get. I'll try to post them on the blog, too...another high and lofty goal: to blog every day. But I want to do this for a couple of reasons. 

A: It will give me an incentive to try to figure out how to work my camera. (or at least my iPhone camera)

B: It will give me an incentive to try to figure out my Photoshop program. (or at least my iPhone photo apps)

C: It will challenge me to document my sometimes crazy life as a pastor's wife and mom of three. Birthing a newborn and a church in the same month is not for the faint of heart, people.

D: It will challenge me to write more. I have so many things that happen in my day that I want to write about. Mostly they get out in 140 characters or less, but I really want to work on my writing skills, so this will give me that push to do so.

29 Days. Let's go.

Sweet Caroline

I'm a little embarrassed that it's taken me so long to post a blog about Caroline!

She's here. She's healthy. She's beautiful. We are so very blessed.

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Caroline Sophia Berry

December 20, 2012

7lbs, 9oz. , 20 in.

 Sweet girl

 With Nissi

 And Papa John

 Already making faces for Papaw...

 Ella's ready for more big sister duties.

 Allie's not so sure...

 Daddy's really got his hands full now...3 girls!

 Always thoughtful Pappy came with gifts after watching big sisters all day.

 John John, Aunt Pepper, and Chancakes

 Some church friends...I wish I would've had a recording devise to capture the 1000 questions that cutie in purple asked me in the span of 20 minutes! So funny!

 The Smiths were in Charlotte from Greenville for the day and dropped by.

 Going home. Although I begged the hospital staff to let me stay another week or so! Round the clock help and room service...but alas, they kicked us out after 2 nights. We're on our own now.

 Sweet cheeks.

 Everyone loved Caroline's little hat. She'll grow into it soon, I'm sure!

 Daddy chest picture. Classic.

She's been such a huge blessing to our family. She fits right in and is so, so, so easy! Thank you, Lord!

From Don Juan to Stan the Man Van

When we bought our 2006 Nissan Pathfinder, we were on a hunt. We had just recently purchased the bigger, nicer, swankier Armada, but it was too good to be true. After less than 2 weeks, we found out that it was leaking oil and was going to cost $10k to replace the engine. And that, my friends, was not going to happen. We felt pretty frustrated at the whole ordeal, to say things like a pastor's wife should say them...

The Armada was fully loaded. Nav system, DVD system, heated leather seats, sunroof...you name it, it had it. But that engine issue...well, we just couldn't get over it for some reason. ;)  All the bells and whistles that the Armada boasted paled in comparison to the fact that the engine didn't work properly. Here would be a great opportunity to write about some deep spiritual metaphor pertaining to this reality. But I'm not feeling deep right now, so I'm gonna hold on to that for later. 

So when we went looking to trade in the Armada (we didn't want to sell it outright and give someone else our huge headache), we were looking only a few things:
1) It had to be certified. 
2) It had to have a warranty in case anything happened later. 
3) It had to have three rows of seats because we were picking up and dropping off a lot of teenagers for church those days.

And we found a great deal just outside Atlanta. We disclosed the engine problem, but since we were at a Nissan dealership, it was a lot less burdensome for them to fix it as a trade in than it would have been for us to get it fixed. It was the end of the month, and they needed to reach quota, so we were able to negotiate a pretty sweet deal, and get a certified Pathfinder with 30k less miles, and a warranty for our Armada. The Pathfinder didn't have a bell or a whistle. But neither of us cared. It had what we needed. We affectionately named him Don Juan the Nissan, and ol' Don Juan proved to be a wonderful addition to our family.

But loading both girls in Don Juan soon proved to take an effort. Among the missing bells were running boards that would help us step up and lift the girls into their car seats. When they got older, they were unable to reach the door handle on their own because it was located halfway up the window. So we began making Ella put her hand on the tire while we opened the door, strapped Allie in, and then walked around to get Ella situated.

This was pretty stressful for me because at such young ages, the kids aren't 100% great at obeying, and I was always keeping my eyes peeled for Ella to take her hand off the tire and run into a parking lot. I was like the "hand on the tire" Nazi, spitting threats through clinched teeth as I strapped her squirming sister into the car seat at lightning fast speed.

As they've grown, they could (barely) climb into the car themselves after I opened their doors, but the backseat was so small that they couldn't climb across easily from one side to the other, and that necessitated me to have to open each door. As my pregnancy progressed, the thought of picking them up to put them in faster makes me want to tear my hair out.

Plus, since both of them are on the small side, they are both in 5 point harness car seats. And we were wondering how in the world we were going to fit three across the backseat. Or, if we could put Ella in the 'way back', we couldn't figure out how to get HER back there and strapped in safely. Seemed like a big pain in the butt, and I was imagining that after Caroline came, I'd be stuck in the house FOR.EV.ERRRRRR! Or at least until they got their own driver's licenses.

So we began facing our fears head on. The fear was that we were going to have to move from "cool SUV driving parents" to "not so cool but practical minivan driving parents."My friend, Jodie, had once declared any minivan to be a "mommy mobile with no sex appeal." And for some reason, I believed her, although most families who drive minivans have multiple children, so I guess sex appeal doesn't completely dissolve. I mean, we do know how those babies are made, right?

And, with less than a month before Caroline was set to be on the Berry scene, we decided to get serious about this switcheroo. We scoured Craigslist, visited some dealerships, and came up with Stan.

Stan the Man Van, that is.

Actually, Brandon spearheaded the effort. He found Stan on Craigslist, he took Don Juan down to the dealership in Lancaster, SC, and he negotiated the deal. Then he bought a red bow and surprised me!

I never EVER thought that I would be THIS excited about having to drive a minivan. Minivans scream, "MOMMY!", and I hear that word enough during the day as it is. But Stan is so suave, so plush, so cozy, so spacious. Stan the Man opens the doors for the ladies. Literally. At the touch of a button on my key chain, Stan's doors open automatically, allowing my 4 and 2 year old treasures to climb in to safety without much effort at all. And now that treasure #3 is here, and I'm lugging that huge baby carrier around (why can't they figure out how to make safe and light baby carriers, by the way?), Stan's debonair ways are even more appreciated.

I love how much space Stan affords our family. The girls no longer have to keep their legs bent so as to not touch the seats in front of them. I no longer have dashboard stuck in my teeth every time we go on a road trip. We stored so much stuff in Stan on our first trip to Greenville, someone would have thought we were moving back.

Love it, love it, love it.

So for all you haters out there, I'm telling you something. I'm a convert. Stan the Man Van has my heart.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner-Part 2

The closet nursery...

Is almost finished. I'm pretty excited, actually.

For those of you who didn't know we were putting baby Caroline in our walk-in closet, check this post out for a little catch-u-up.

As for us, we are less than a week away from the anticipated arrival of baby girl #3, and are beyond excited to meet little miss Caroline.

We have pretty much completed most of the big projects needed for the launch of RWOC Charlotte, set for January 15th, 2012. It's like finishing an assignment early. I don't know if Brandon knows what that feeling is like, cause he was pretty much notorious for turning in projects at the last minute, or after.

We have bought a family-friendlier vehicle. More on that later!

We had a small baby shower with some local friends. It was a diaper and wipe shower, since we have pretty much what we need gear-wise for a baby girl. It was a wonderful time to stop, reflect, and celebrate Caroline's arrival.

And...the nursery in the closet is almost finished. Hall-le-lu-jer!

So here's a little breakdown of what's what.

We are finally using the crib we bought as an infant crib for the first time! Ella and Allie both used the same crib that I did when I was a baby...teething marks and all. We had bought new hardware for it to make sure it was up to date with safety issues, and it was so fun to have them in it. But we bought this crib that turns into a toddler bed and a full sized bed a little bit before Allie was born. We had Ella in it with the mattress at the lowest setting, cause she was just a 20 months old when Allie came along, but it wasn't long before we transitioned it to a toddler bed. Since then, a new recall has outlawed drop-side cribs, so Caroline won't be using the same crib Mom and her big sisters used. Instead, she gets the newer model. 



The crib sheet was a gift from a dear friend who just had her first child. She sent it a while back, and I told her I liked it so much I was gonna use it as my nursery decor inspiration. Well, Katie, I'm a woman of my word. I've also picked out a couple other fabrics on sale at Hobby Lobby that coordinate, and am going to make a couple more crib sheets for lil Miss using this link I found on Pinterest. Cost for other fabric:s $15 total.



The crib skirt is a homemade touch of brilliance that I adapted from one of my favorite blogs, Young House Love. I seriously don't miss a day of these folks' posts. Love them. And this crib skirt was super easy, and cheap! They did a 3 sided skirt, but I only had to do 1 side for the time being, because sides 2, 3, & 4 aren't visible! I did, however, buy enough fabric to make the other 2 sides in case we move the crib to a different spot or move homes and Caroline ends up somewhere besides the closet. Cost for crib skirt (1 sided): $7

The lime green frame was in a give-away pile. It actually was a plastic, gold (read: gaudy) mirror. After convincing Brandon we needed to put it in the car (he thought I was CRAZY), I ran over to Lowe's and grabbed a bottle of spray paint. Then I put on 3 light and even (for the most part) coats of lime green to cover the gold. Total cost: $3.77


The hot pink name and scripture wall decal was a must to tie things all together. I found it on Etsy, which is another wonderful site for ideas and homemade/creative gifts. This was, by far, the most expensive aspect of Caroline's nursery...with shipping, it cost $27. It conveniently came in the mail about 3 hours before my baby shower, so I had Brandon sticking it on the wall before it started so my friends could get the full effect. It makes me smile every time I see it. I heart it.

The hot pink with orange polka dot blanket was purchased off a gift card that I got from my credit card rewards. So, technically, that was free. And it's so soft and sweet.

The kelly green boxes were already on hand from IKEA, and they house Caroline's clothes, blankets, and burp cloths.

It's not installed just yet, but we bought this super cute chandelier from IKEA the other day for $20. Right now we have a fluorescent tube light in there that casts a pretty harsh light on things. So we think this will soften up the ambiance a bit.

I hit up Pinterest again for a super easy and cost effective storage option...reusing old diaper boxes by decorating them with burlap and ribbons! This gal's idea gave me lots of storage for just a few bucks! Cost of two burlap covered boxes: $6.

 Again, since I am pretty much obsessed with Pinterest, I found another cheap and easy project for this burlap covered wall hanging with button "C" on it. This project took me about 15 minutes and $2.

 

 

The wall clings were given to me by a friend who had them left over from her daughter's nursery. So not only were the FREE, but they also do pretty good to cover up Allie's 'artwork' --she took a brown crown to the flat paint, and I haven't had the energy to try to figure out if the Magic Eraser will work or not.


As far as other necessary nursery staples, we have the changing table pad in our room since she'll be spending a lot of time in there with us, and it's only a few steps from her nursery, and the same friend who hooked us up with the wall clings also donated her super cush rocker to us, and it is in our room doubling as a reading chair right now. It will be perfect for nighttime feedings and snuggling, and the light blue gingham blends in decently with our bedroom decor. 

So there we have it. A sweet little place to lay her head. And it cost a total of $80.77 out of my pocket. Not too shabby, eh? The wall opposite the shelves has yet to be decorated, but we'll wait to either find a great deal on something we can't live without or until I discover a Pinterest project that I just have to incorporate. When that happens, I'll be sure to update, as I know you'll be on pins and needles. ;)

Drives Me Crazy

Things that drive me crazy...holla if you can relate.

1) Grocery store cashiers who over pack bags or take no notice of the fact that I may not want my raw meat snuggling with my fruits and veggies... I recently had a cashier take the fact that I had a larger sized reusable bag for granted. Instead of putting many light things in it (like cereal boxes, pasta, etc...), she decided to put: 1 gal of milk, 1 OJ, 1 large apple juice bottle, 1 XL coffee creamer bottle, 1 carton of soy milk, 1 4lb box of Borax, and about 15 other light pantry things all in this one bag. The bag probably weighed 85 lbs. She must have not noticed that I'm not a body builder. She must have not noticed that I'm 8 months pregnant, either. Which brings me to the next thing that drives me crazy...

2) People who make stupid preggo comments and touch my belly without asking. I've blogged about this before here and here. Yesterday, while I was taking my girls down the hallway at church to put them in childcare, one of the ladies who works in the nursery leaned out the door as I walked past, and called out to me, "Nicole...are you pregnant?" I turned sideways and she said, "Oh, you didn't look pregnant until you turned sideways" (okay, that was nice), but then she had to add..."you about to have that baby, Nicole? You are so big!" Really? Thanks!  Then we had to get up in front of the whole congregation for an announcement about the campus coming to Charlotte. And since Apostle Ron mentioned the fact that I look like I'm about to have a baby right there on stage (which really wasn't a big deal cause he made it somewhat funny), apparently that gave everyone else in the congregation the permission they needed to make comments and jokes and touch my belly in between services. I won't even begin. And while I was complimented by many sweet friends that I was glowing, 'looking good hot mama' (these are people who must have read the aforementioned blogs or had been pregnant themselves), etc... I was also told by someone who probably meant well that I looked miserable. Geez, makes a girl all warm and fuzzy inside. I also have a family member who insists on commenting on how fat I'm getting every time I see him. Or every time I reach for food. I need to go on to the next one before I get really mad...

3) Traffic. It took us three and a half hours to get from Greenville to Charlotte last night. It usually takes less than two. Enough said.

4) Pretty much all people who want to put more on my plate these days. Did you know that in the next two months the Berrys will be: hosting Thanksgiving, finishing Christmas shopping, wrapping and decorating, training and traveling back and forth to Greenville a bazillion times to get ready for launch, buying EVERY SINGLE thing we have to have for our church, HAVING A BABY, celebrating Christmas in a new house, still mourning the fact that my mom's not here over the holidays, celebrating Brandon's 30th birthday, sleeping through New Year's, and planting a church that is set to start on my birthday. That's on top of things like working on keeping our marriage great, raising godly children, and keeping our house from becoming a cesspool of clutter, dirty laundry and germs. So please don't get offended if we don't send Christmas cards, remember your kid's 12th birthday, call 'just to chat', come to your ugly sweater Christmas party, or randomly offer to babysit so you can go on date night.  We are usually pretty good at these things, but this year... We. Just. Can't.  In fact, if you cook, clean, babysit or are a computer whiz, could you please help a sista out so I don't check myself into a mental hospital in the next few weeks? 

Okay, I should probably stop at 4. Plenty to chew on.  But feel free to add some of your own in the comments.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner

But we sure as heck are about to put her in the closet.

Yep. You read that correctly.

You see, we recently moved to Charlotte, and have been renting a nice home in a nice neighborhood. There are three bedrooms...one for us, one for E & A who have shared a room since Allie was 2 months old, and one for our guests. We thought about turning the guest room into the nursery, but a few things stopped us:

1) We have overnight guests ALL THE TIME. I think out of the three months we've lived here, we've been home 6 weekends all together. And of those 6 weekends, we've had overnight guests 4 weekends. So that leaves a big, whopping 2 weekends that we've not had overnight guests. And that doesn't even take into account the overnight guests we've had during the weekdays. Hotel Berry. We like having guests and know that we have been blessed to be a blessing, so offering our home for friends, family and launch team members who are looking to move to Charlotte isn't a big deal for us. We know as we get closer to the launch and even into the new year, we should expect to have that room occupied with people from out of town. And that's cool.

But we couldn't imagine having to deal with the awkwardness of rearranging a guest room, incorporating a crib, changing table, and baby decor, and making our guests feel like they are intruding on baby's normal routine when they are visiting. Nope. Strike One.

2) It's expensive to make a nursery.  As mentioned before, it would take a lot of planning (and money) to bring our existing guest room decor and baby decor into agreement. In fact, it just wouldn't jive, so either we'd have to switch out the bedding for the baby or the bedding for the guest bed, or both. Or just live with clashing decor. No thank you. Strike Two.

Well, in this game, two strikes is enough. It's kind of like the opposite of T-ball where the players get unlimited attempts to hit the ball. We play hardball around here, yo.

So, looking around for other options, we had two options left. Put baby's crib in our bedroom or put baby's crib in our enormous walk-in closet.

At first we were gonna go with the bedroom. It's a rather large room, and even with a king sized bed and furniture, we could make it work without cramping us too much. But then we would run into the whole "how do we meld these two decor styles together" question again. We looked again at the closet. It has a vent and, again, it's huge. And the fact that we don't have very many clothes (certainly not enough to fill it) made this option a bit brighter.

Here would be an awesome opportunity to put a picture of the "Before" closet. Alas, I suck at thinking ahead these days and we got to work before I remembered to snap a pic. Boo me.

We took out the shelving on the back wall and on the right side, and consolidated all of our clothes to the front left part of the closet. 

Then we set up the crib on the back wall. This is a in-progress shot. I just put a rug down and a crib sheet on but don't have the skirt, or any decor yet. But you see how big this is? That is a BIG crib in there, people.

So next up is to think of some creative and renter-friendly way of decorating the wall. I'm thinking vinyl wall decals that stick and unstick easily. Also, I would really love to switch out the fluorescent tube light for a dainty chandelier...but that is going to have to be up to the owners, I think.

At first I was a bit hesitant to consider putting baby in the closet, but a few things really changed my mind:

1) Baby doesn't care. She's not going to even know the difference. I came to grips with the fact that most of the time when people spend crazy amounts of money and time on a baby nursery, it's not even really for the baby. It's for them. Not that it's some horrible thing to want to design a beautiful nursery. I remember when Ella was about to be born, setting up the nursery really helped me see the reality of the whole thing. There really is going to be a little person in here one day. But Ella could have cared less what fabric I picked out or the fact that I had her bumpers, crib sheets, Roman shade and diaper holder custom made, or how everything coordinated perfectly. All she cared about was being loved, well fed, and clean. Same with Allie.  Neither cared that their room was the second largest in the house, and neither even really used it except to sleep and be changed until they were older. By the time Caroline is old enough to know she sleeps in a closet, we will most likely be in a new house and she'll have a room (maybe).

2) It's close to us, but not too close.  We have to go through our master bathroom to get to the closet. And there are two doors that we can close if needed. This is a better option in our opinion than having her in a crib in our room because it does give us a little bit of privacy when we really need it. After she starts sleeping through the night, we will most likely want to have some semblance of rest and retreat sans baby in our bedroom.

3) It offers a separate, quiet spot for her to rest. Said another way, her sisters won't be all up in her grill all the time. And they won't have to tiptoe around because when she's asleep in her crib, she won't be able to hear them anyway unless they are playing in our bathroom (which has been known to happen at times--little girls LOVE to get into Mommy's lotions, makeup and hair stuff).

4) It's a great use of a space that would normally become a dumping grounds for junk. I really wish I had the "Before" picture of the closet. Because "Before" for us really meant "before I unpacked everything". We had lots of boxes and baskets of unorganized clothes that easily could have stayed put for months if I had not had the motivation of "let's transform this into a nursery". So, it forced us to purge some clothes and shoes, organize the others into seasons, and store the unused seasonal clothing elsewhere. When we go into the closet now, we are more likely to put things where they belong instead of just being lazy and dropping them on the floor (gasp...yes, we did that from time to time!)

5) It forces me to keep things simple. Between parenting 2 other angels, being a wife, and starting a church, I have a lot on my plate. And the fact that I love to be creative can actually work against me when thinking of designing a nursery..."Oooh, I saw this on Pinterest, I could do that!" thought a hundred times could really add up in time and money! Yes, I'd like to still make it special, but the fact that there isn't a ton of space will help me stay reigned in a little bit (I hope).

And yes, for those of you who are concerned about stuffiness, there is a vent in the closet that allows air to circulate, and we'll probably put a small fan in there for white noise/air circulation as well.

So that's where Lil' Miss Caroline will be spending her first few months (or until we move). And guests, we welcome you to Hotel Berry!

Do you have any ideas that you'd like to share on how we can make the closet nursery a sweet little spot? Please share in the comment section!